Don't just put on airs in the margins while telling the rest of the story straight-ineptly, but straight. If you're going to turn the Almighty into a creepily disturbed juvenile psychopath on a par with Game of Thrones' King Joffrey, then _go _for it, dude. But his objections don't carry any weight, leaving you exasperated at Scott's shilly-shallying. When Rameses still balks and Yahweh decides to up the ante by killing the oppressors' first-born sons-Bubba Ho-Tep's included-Moses has misgivings. The switch to Jaws action as giant alligators turn the Nile red by devouring luckless fishermen is very funny, and the frogs that pelt down on everybody couldn't be cuter if they were wearing berets and spouting on about adoring Jerry Lewis between Gauloises. Unsurprisingly, Scott gets off on the plagues they're the only sequences in _Gods And Kings _with any zest. It's time to get those boils and locusts earning their keep in his celestial plan. What this "Jews fight back!" interlude-a displaced fantasy of Holocaust resistance-is doing in the movie is anybody's guess, but the Draco Malfoy kid soon grows tired of watching amateur hour. So back to Egypt we trudge, where Moses and Joshua get busy going guerilla on Pharaoh's army. Once he discovers his childhood pal's fishy pedigree, off Moses shleps into exile, marrying Sefora (Maria Valverde) and settling down to a contented life of muttering "Go flock yourself" to passing goats until that brat from Hogwarts shows up and briefs him on the big job ahead. By now, Ramseses is Bubba Ho-Tep in his own right.
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